Are you a perfectionist? As a child, you were probably taught that you should always do your best. Over time that message may have changed to: never accept less than perfection in your work. Of course, you feel great when you know that you’ve done an amazing job.
Perfectionism can be seen as a noble quality to strive for in everything you do, but there’s a negative side to it. There are several reasons you should try to overcome perfectionism. An obsession with perfection can cause you to feel overwhelmed, become indecisive, and procrastinate. This often leads to feelings of stress, anxiety, and even burnout. True perfection is impossible. Even when we do our best things can go wrong, or we may not achieve the desired results, despite our best efforts.
The solution is to change your mindset and your intentions. Stop aiming for absolute perfection. Instead, simply try to do your best given the limitations of time, your competing priorities, and the level of importance of the task. For difficult endeavors, focusing on making continuous improvements and being satisfied with seeing progress is better than striving for perfection.
In this article, we’ll take a look at what perfectionism means. Then we’ll cover 9 ways to overcome perfectionism.
The Definition of Perfectionism
Before you can attempt to overcome perfectionism, you have to know what it is and how it may be affecting you. Perfectionists have a drive to be perfect, be seen as perfect, or believe that perfection is possible. It is often seen as a positive characteristic that increases your chances of success.
The negative traits of being a perfectionist could include being highly critical of yourself, beating yourself up when you don’t achieve what you want to, and being focused only on results. These downsides of perfectionism can make it harder to achieve your goals. If you’re a perfectionist, you may have trouble seeing a good result as good enough – if it’s not perfect.
9 Strategies to Overcome Perfectionism
1. Recognize When Your Best Is Not Required
You’re busy. You can’t give everything equal focus and energy. There are situations when doing “your absolute best” on a task is not the best use of your time.
Ask yourself, “How important is this? How much time should I be spending on this?” Prioritize what’s important and channel your best efforts on those things. Less important tasks require less attention to detail and scrutiny than others. For tasks that have a low-level of importance or don’t have significant consequences, accept that “good enough” is good enough.
This change in perspective will help reduce the stress you might be feeling by having too much to do.
To learn more about the link between perfectionism and procrastination, check out The Perfectionism Workbook by Taylor Newendorp MA LCPC.
2. Change Your Intention From Perfection to Doing Your Best
When it does matter, of course, you should try to do your absolute best. Performing well on key tasks and projects is crucial to achieving your goals. However, you need to balance your ambition with rational expectations.
When you have unrealistic hopes of perfection, you will constantly be falling short, which can lead to disappointment. Playing the perfection game, which you know you can’t win, may lead to depression. By shifting your aspirations to “awesome, but not perfect,” you can reduce your levels of stress and anxiety.
3. Have a Backup Plan
Despite your best efforts, things can go wrong. A perfectionist can be thrown off by problems and frustrations. Make a plan for what can go wrong, and take action to prepare for the possible obstacles you might encounter. Just remember that you can not control every variable. Accept that some things might still not work out as planned. This flexibility can keep you from getting overly upset when things go wrong.
4. Develop Self-Compassion
When you don’t live up to your standards, avoid judging yourself harshly. Dwelling on your mistakes can lower your self-confidence. If you are constantly angry or frustrated, you can become defensive. Are you trying to be perfect to avoid judgment or blame? Don’t be afraid to admit your mistakes. If you’re a perfectionist, you may fear not being seen by others as perfect. This can lead to a lack of honesty and authenticity in your relationships.
5. Learn From Your Mistakes
Use your experiences to improve yourself. Embrace constructive criticism and view it as helpful information. Focus on the process of learning. Strive to become more confident in your ability to improve as opposed to your ability to be perfect.
6. Focus on Making Progress, Not Achieving Perfection
If you are working on a long-term goal or a large project involving many tasks, you cannot try to do every single one of them perfectly. Trying to do this will lead to frustration, exhaustion, and giving up.
Instead, focus on making steady, ongoing progress. Take small steps daily to work towards your goals. Major endeavors require perseverance, not a rigid desire to do everything perfectly. This is especially true in the areas of personal development. There is a temptation to rely on quick fixes that don’t bring about lasting change. Change can be slow and often only sticks when it’s done gradually. Focus on building good habits. Appreciate the progress you’re making, even if it’s not perfect.
7. Change Your Self-Talk
Pay attention to your thoughts. Your perfectionism could lead you to tell yourself things like, “This needs to be perfect,” or “It would be awful for me to make a mistake.” When you do a less than perfect job, you might think, “I’m not good enough,” “There’s something wrong with me,” or “I’m a complete failure.”
Judgemental and negative messages can cause discouragement. Change what you say to yourself. Try using self-talk like, ”I will do my best,” “Even though it’s not perfect, I still had fun,” or “Even if I make a mistake, I can try again.” These statements are more encouraging and keep you from giving up too quickly.
8. Celebrate Wins and Improvements
Perfectionists tend to discount any efforts that fall short of their ideas of perfection. Did you get eight things done today, but you planned to do eleven? Do you look at those three unfinished tasks and feel like a failure at the end of the day? If so, you need to start recognizing what you ARE getting done. Focus on the gains you achieve – regardless of the size. Small gains can help build momentum. Acknowledging even tiny wins can improve your self-confidence and belief in your abilities – motivating you to keep going.
9. Get Comfortable With Imperfection
If you have a history of high performance in a few areas you might feel an overwhelming pressure to live up to your previous achievements. This can lead you to avoid trying anything new.
One way to overcome this is to attempt something you’ve never done before or to learn a new skill. Accept that there’s no way you’ll do it perfectly, so you might as well relax. Take pleasure in the experience of doing something interesting and enjoy the process of learning.
A perfectionist mindset can lead to living a small life because you lack the courage to try new things or take risks. You could be missing out on fun experiences because you’re afraid you’ll look silly if you don’t do it right. Recognize that even when you aren’t perfect – you’re still ok, and you’re probably having more fun.
If you find that perfectionism is blocking your ability to create, check out the SkillShare Course: Tackling Creative Perfectionism.
Conclusion: You Can Overcome Perfectionism
Remember the expression, “Perfect is the enemy of good.” This means that attempts at perfection are impossible and can cause frustration, stress, and even depression. These negative side effects get in the way of “the good,” – of getting things done efficiently and enjoying the process.
Perfection is based on an external standard that is impossible to achieve. No one is perfect. It is more healthy and more practical to focus on making progress – continuing to get better. By following the nine strategies we outlined above, you can overcome perfectionism.
For things that aren’t so important, practice doing a “good enough” job – on purpose. Notice the results. You’re fine. The world hasn’t ended. With enough exposure to imperfection, you can get used to it.
Check out the recommendations on our Resources page for tools to help you develop the mindset and habits to achieve your goals. Be sure to subscribe to our Newsletter to get notifications when we publish a new article or video.
