What Should You Do When You Feel Like Quitting?
You knew that your ambitious goal would require hard work. You expected challenges and even setbacks. You thought you could handle them. Now, you’re not so sure.
Despite careful planning and your best efforts, there are times when the difficulties you face seem impossible to overcome. You’re frustrated. You’re stressed out, and your lack of progress makes you wonder if you should stop wasting your time.
Don’t give up yet. Here are 6 steps to take when you feel like quitting.
1. Pause Everything
Instead of quitting, you should try pausing everything related to the project that is causing you so much frustration. One of the reasons you may feel like quitting is because you want relief from the pressures, stress, or disappointments associated with the project. Pausing the project is a way to give you the relief you are seeking from those negative emotions. If you can find a way to put things on hold and take a break, you still have the possibility of coming back to the project later. When possible, pause, don’t quit.
“Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer, since to remain constantly at work will cause you to lose power of judgment. Go some distance away, because then the work appears smaller, and more of it can be taken in at a glance, and lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.” – Leonardo da Vinci
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” ― Anne Lamott
2. Create a Positive Distraction
Give your mind a break by focusing on something else. You may be tempted to just park yourself on the couch and watch hours of TV. After all, you’re on a break right? But passive entertainment like this leaves your mind open to wandering, and eventually, you may end up worrying about your stressful project again.
Instead, use this time to complete a small task you can easily achieve. This is not the time to tackle another large project. You’re looking for an easy win. Try things like organizing a closet, a corner of the garage, or even a junk drawer. Finish a craft or DIY project that you’ve wanted to do, but never made the time for. Fix something around your home that you’ve been putting off. Find a task that is relatively easy that you can finish quickly. Choose something that will give you a sense of satisfaction when it’s done.
By temporarily choosing to focus on something else, you prevent yourself from ruminating about the project that’s stressing you out. These distractions are positive because they serve the double purpose of getting something small off your to-do list. The sense of accomplishment you feel from this tiny success will help to boost your mood and your confidence in your ability.
“Enjoy the satisfaction that comes from doing little things well.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
When you feel like quitting, your instinct may be to beat yourself up for the mistakes you’ve made, or your inability to finish that difficult project.
“Why can’t I do this? Something must be wrong with me.”
This kind of negative self-talk will backfire on you. It leaves you feeling bad about yourself and less likely to want to try again. This is not helpful.
Now is the time to be kind to yourself. Do not think of yourself as a failure. Just accept that this project has been too much for you to handle – so far. Acknowledge that every ambition involves stretching yourself to do things you’ve never done before. Give yourself credit for trying. Maintain a Growth Mindset by telling yourself things like “I don’t know how to do this yet, but I can figure it out.”
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.” ― Mary Anne Radmacher
4. Take an Honest Look at What Went Wrong
Now that you’ve had some time away from the problem, think back to where your efforts fell short. Why did this happen? How can you learn from your mistakes and do things differently going forward?
Consider if you would benefit from the advice of a coach or mentor. Would it help to hire someone to share the workload?
Did you try to do too much at once? What if you were to try again, but this time set a more relaxed pace? When you feel like giving up, stop, and take an honest look at your expectations. Make sure that they are reasonable given your available time and resources.
If you decide to approach this goal again, you’ll need to adjust your strategy.
“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” – Confucius
5. Recommit to Your Goal
Spend some time thinking about the reasons why you began this project in the first place. Why is it important to you? What do you hope to gain from accomplishing it? Is this something you still care about?
If you truly no longer value the desired outcome then it may be time for you to let this project go, and move on to something else.
If you decide to continue, you may wonder if you have what it takes to achieve this goal. Try to approach the project as a way to increase your skills and your ability to persevere in the quest for something worthwhile. Imagine the sense of satisfaction you’ll feel when you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do.
“When you have a dream that you can’t let go of, trust your instincts and pursue it. But remember: Real dreams take work, They take patience, and sometimes they require you to dig down very deep. Be sure you’re willing to do that.” – Harvey Mackay
6. Begin Again… and Again
It is not unusual to feel like giving up more than once as you work towards an ambitious goal. When this happens, repeat the process we’ve outlined here, and then begin again.
“Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.” – Virgil Thomson
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
Conclusion: Pause, Don’t Quit
As you pursue your goals, there will certainly be times when you feel like quitting. Before you give up, try the strategies we’ve covered:
- Pause Everything
- Create a Positive Distraction
- Practice Self-Compassion
- Take an Honest Look at What Went Wrong
- Recommit to Your Goal
- Begin Again… and Again
When you feel like giving up, make sure that you are not pursuing unrealistic standards of perfectionism. If you found this article helpful, you may also enjoy our article on 9 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism.
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